Anxiety During the Coronavirus: Part 9, Happiness in the Midst of COVID-19
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I keep reflecting on something that I learned from the Positive Psychology literature, also known as the Happiness literature: The happiest people are those who have lived through adversity, not those with an adversity free life. This is important because it means that everyone is dealing with adversity right now and I am hopeful that nearly all of us will come out of it being a little better. While it may take time, I believe that many of us will be a little bit happier when it’s over. I could write several paragraphs on the gifts of shattering my femur like having a deeper appreciation for things like friends, showering, driving, and walking. I hope we all have a greater appreciation for hugs, attending sporting events and parties, and dining out, just to name a few.
About 50% of our happiness is genetic and get this: Only 10% of what determines happiness is our circumstances - income, where you live, age, social status. This includes our stay-at-home order right now! The good news is 40% is determined by intentional behaviors - things we can control right now. I’ve already given you some of those tools which includes physical activity, your perspective, not only exercises the body, but neurotransmitters and there is evidence that if we vary it we do better. I’ve been walking almost daily to change my scenery and I go a different route every time to see different homes, trees, decorations etc.
People who experience FLOW more are happier. To me, flow is being completely mindful, in the moment, while engaging in an activity like cooking, making pottery, playing tennis, gardening, or woodworking. My favorite flow activity is playing the piano. Think about what puts you in flow and do more of it.
“In general people do really good when things go really bad” Daniel Gilbert, Ph.D. (Stumbling on Happiness). Many people are surprised that they are doing as well with this as they are. The greater point is that we see people stepping up to very good things. We see this in parades for the healthcare workers, birthdays, and those returning from the hospital. People are reaching out to elderly neighbors. Many who are financially stable frequently get carry out to keep their local restaurants afloat and some are giving way better than usual tips to restaurant staff, even at fast food drive thrus. Restaurants are feeding hospital staff for free. Hospital staff are working longer hours and are quarantined from their families. Perhaps the biggest heroes are those who have retired and are going back to help, especially those who have traveled to NY to help out. There’s a saying - when you’re feeling really down, do something nice for someone else, you’ll both feel better. This is the number one reason I’m writing this blog, to help those struggling through this. I’m doing a few other things too. IF you are doing good things, Thank You!!! If not, consider what you can do to step up!
Want to learn more about Happiness:
Watch the documentary Happy (Free on Amazon Prime).
Read any number of books on Positive Psychology or Happiness
Listen to the podcast Happiness Lab by Laurie Santos of Yale or
Take a Class - You can audit her entire class for free The Science of Well Being (click on the title). Her class Psychology and the Good Life is the most popular class in Yale’s 300 year history with 1/4 of students taking it.
Want to write a guest blog post or have suggestions for one, e-mail me at abelshrink@gmail.com.